As we approach the Halloween season, let us all remember there is a fine line between appropriate and inappropriate scary. This crosses that line. Be vigilant. Do not purchase inappropriate scary this holiday season.
As we approach the Halloween season, let us all remember there is a fine line between appropriate and inappropriate scary. This crosses that line. Be vigilant. Do not purchase inappropriate scary this holiday season.
In honor of my wedding anniversary I share with you my favorite passage about marriage from one of my favorite books, The Sparrow by Maria Doria Russell. In my mind it is the most honest and true writing I have ever encountered about commitment and the realities of two people staying together. I have been known to send it to friends when their marriages are in crisis. (Because nothing gives comfort like a really long book passage.) Anne Edwards is the narrator in this passage. She’s married to George Edwards and is talking with their younger friend Jimmy Quinn. Bear with me, because I think it’s worth the really long read.
“…we all make vows, Jimmy. And there is something very beautiful and touching and noble about wanting good impulses to be permanent and true forever,” she said. “Most of us stand up and vow to love, honor and cherish someone. And we truly mean it, at the time. But two or twelve or twenty years down the road, the lawyers are negotiating the property settlement.”
“You and George didn’t go back on your promises.”
She laughed. “Lemme tell ya something, sweetface. I have been married at least four times, to four different men.” She watched him chew that over for a moment before continuing, “They’ve all been named George Edwards but, believe me, the man who is waiting for me down the hall is a whole lot different animal from the boy I married, back before there was dirt. Oh, there are continuities. He has always been fun and he has never been able to budget his time properly and – well, the rest is none of your business.”
“But people change,” he said quietly.
“Precisely. People change. Cultures change. Empires rise and fall. Shit. Geology changes! Every ten years or so, George and I have faced the fact that we have changed and we’ve had to decide if it makes sense to create a new marriage between these two new people.” She flopped back against her chair. “Which is why vows are such a tricky business. Because nothing stays the same forever.” ― Mary Doria Russell, The Sparrow
In my world, and I only have depth of vision into my own life, this is how marriage really works. You make a vow and you spend the rest of your life together doing the best you can by that commitment given the people you become. With me and Mr. Afthead there have been really hard times when we clung to each other, and other times when we pushed away. There have been unexpected joyful times and well planned celebrations that fell flat. There are times when our marriage works without a hitch. There are other times when it is a deadly slog that we just have to get through. Throughout it all we decide if the marriage makes sense with who we are in a given moment and in the foreseeable future. So far, we’ve come out of that evaluation together every time. It isn’t Romeo and Juliet, but it’s worked for us.
I hope I haven’t embarrassed you all with the deep romance that runs through the Afthead household. Now off to go cook dinner for my snookems. Also, there’s a card here somewhere I need to sign.
Love from the Aftheads!
I love the random day when firemen appear in the street holding their big boots going from car door to car door collecting money. When I was little, I didn’t care what they were collecting money for. I only cared that they were standing in the middle of the street, so dangerous, and I could crank down my window to put money into their boots. No, “Keep you hands in the window” yell from mom on that day. Now as an adult I don’t know what the attraction is: the philanthropy, the novelty, the Muscular Dystrophy Association or the firemen. Whatever it is, I am giddy when I see the firetruck by the side of the road, lights flashing and firemen with boots. I pull out my purse and start rummaging for whatever cash or change I have. $20? $5? $1? I roll down my window and hang out the money. (I wonder how many accidents happen in the MDA fireman campaign.)
This year I dropped money in the boot four times. As I was collecting my fourth sticker — if you have a kid you get a sticker for your donation — I had an epiphany. Maybe they just don’t do this in Denver, Colorado. Maybe there are firemen all over the country with their boots out collecting money. Maybe, gasp, maybe this happens at a set time every year and I just am not aware enough to notice.
A little bit of web sleuthing led to a little bit of information. The MDA Fill the Boot effort has been going on for 60 years, and always happens in the summer. This is how I remember it, always in the summer. However, I can’t find any information that tells me if this happens the same time every year for a given locale. For now the mystery is alive. At some point next year, in the summer, I can expect to see boots held out in the middle of the road and I can hope that I’ll have money to put in them. If not, I’ll head to the ATM machine and circle back around. That little ploy wasn’t utilized this year, but it has in the past and it will be again.
Were the boots out in your neck of the woods this weekend???
Did any of you notice the slip up on my last post? It was right at the top of the Glimmer Train image. It was my name, and guess what? It was no slip up. Yes, dear readers, the bureaucracy is over and I have a signed piece of paper that says, “Heck yeah, you can have a blog, and write a book, and tie it to your name. We, the big bosses you work with, don’t care.” Okay, it doesn’t exactly say that, but that’s the gist of the three pages. So I finally get to turn the Afthead around and introduce you to the forehead.
I wish I had glasses to whip off and a suit to pull open revealing the AFTHEAD superhero costume underneath. Alas, I do not. My superhero powers are limited.
My human name is Johanna Levene, but you can still call me Afthead in the blogsphere. Watch as the two identities meld. If you type in my name as a URL (http://johannalevene.com) you’ll get redirected to this blog. In the near future I’ll set up something more slick so that typing in the johannalevene domain will take you to an about page explaining how you ended up on Afthead when you typed my name, but for now I am Afthead and Afthead is me.
Why the change, you ask? If I still want to be Afthead why would I do something like this? A couple of reasons:
It is so freeing combining two of my personalities into one. I am Johanna Levene. I’m a writer who just finished her first novel and submit her first short story to a contest. It’s really nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy your time on my blog Afthead.
I am Afthead. (Remember, read that last line with a Batman voice.)
Back in June I blogged about going to see my BFF Neil Gaiman speak and his message to new writers. Like many other established authors out there, his suggestion was to finish something, then get it out there. Since that day I have finished a first draft of a short story and my first novel. While waiting for my novel age, I have been working on nine tasks to get me ready for the effort of creating a second draft of my novel then finding an agent and publisher. One of those tasks was to polish my short story, The Fisherman, and get it out there. Well, I actually said “see how I feel about getting it out there,” but honestly, I feel pretty darn good. It is out there. Monday night I corrected my last few inconsistencies, paid my $15 and hit submit. My story is now officially in the Glimmer Train Press “Short-Story Award For New Writers.” Can I get a hallelujah?!? I’ll find out by November 1st if I win or not. Time for more waiting.
I’m really, really glad I submit The Fisherman before tackling the editing process on my novel. My story was SHORT (1241 words) and my novel is LONG (98,942 words). Editing my short story was a gut wrenching crabby weekend of work. If I edit my novel at the same rate I’m going to be crabby for 80 days! (At one point this weekend I remembered another message from Neil Gaiman where he said people think that writing is ethereal but really it’s wandering around grouchy in a bathrobe. Yep, he was talking second drafts, I’m sure.) However, I learned some great stuff that I think will make editing the novel easier now that this effort is under my belt:
Those things are all great, but I also learned one really big writing lesson. A game changer of a lesson. I am chickenshit. Once my mom and Mr. Afthead pointed out all the “ands” in my story I realized what I was doing. I was making the reader do the work. Description after description read,
“When the sun is low and the puffy cloud-filled sky is painted pink, purple and orange, and the shadows are deep enough to hide details of faces and bodies, the door will open and he will slip out to join the families on the banks of the river with his rod and reel.” – 4 “ands” in one sentence
I had 69 ands in my first draft. Let’s pause and consider 69 of 1241 words were AND: almost 6%. Ugh. I cut that down to 31 through updates like,
“The sun must be low in a sky filled with orange puffy clouds. The shadows must be deep enough to hide the details of face and body. When the conditions are right he will slip out to join the families on the banks of the river with his fishing rod.” – 1 “and” in 3 sentences
What’s the difference between the first and second versions. Lots of stuff, but in my mind the difference is that in the first version I am paranoid that the reader won’t see what I want them to see. So I paint a very detailed picture in a very complex sentence. I give them a magnifying glass and some paint of their own – in case they don’t like what they see – and a guided tour of the picture complete with one of those narration phones you get at a museum. In the second version I am brave. I assume the reader has their imagination on and can paint their own picture in their mind and we can move on together. Are their orange puffy clouds the same as mine? Do they really understand the conditions? That is scary, but my favorite part of the story is the magic, but through over-describing (The child is excited and terrified. The dad is teary-eyed and proud.) I was losing the magic.
Thank goodness by nature I’m a taker-outter and not a putter-inner, so the edits weren’t hard once I knew what they were. I honestly believe that every reader has “better things to do” than read a book. They have bills to pay and mother’s to call and a house to clean and kids to bathe and endless ands to stick into their writing. If I make them work too hard they will leave. If I tell them exactly what they need to know, and maybe a little less, they will keep reading because they can’t stop. They will paint their picture in their head and want to know how it turns out. I want my stories to beg to be read, but if they are tedious because I am scared they won’t get read. So watch out novel! I’m coming to you and I am brave and ready to chop you down to size. I’m bringing my cheerleader readers and my nitpicker with me too. We are a fierce team and taking on new members if you want to join us.
Only 59 days until I find out if I won the competition or not. 23 days until I can read my novel. Tick Tick.
ANNOUNCEMENT! ANNOUNCEMENT!
The feature formerly knows as “Weekend Writing Update #x” is being rebranded to “Periodic Publishing Posts.” This move is being made for several strategic reasons:
Guess what all is up in my publishing process? Still no approval paperwork from the office. I’m getting annoyed, while trying to understand that my bosses boss probably has more important things to do than sign a piece of paper approving me to work outside of the office. Still, I’d like to start moving on my new domain and my CV. Bureaucracy. Annoying and hard to spell. I hate it.
I’ve made other strides though. Tomorrow, or Monday at the latest, I’m sending in an updated version of my short story The Fisherman to Glimmer Train for their Short Story Award for New Writers competition. I spent one evening this past week searching through the contests and awards in the 2015 Writer’s Market trying to find something that appealed to me.
Stop. Funny aside here. I can submit an optional cover letter with my story. I am a staunch believer in cover letters. When I hire for a position I am unabashedly biased against people who do not include a cover letter. In the first version of my cover letter I said, “After perusing the Writer’s Market I decided that Glimmer Train had the right combination of openness to new writers and success producing excellence that I wanted.” Both my mom and my husband said using “perusing” was shorthand for “I’m a smarty smart with a big vocabulary.” So I came up with some other wording options:
- After slogging through the Writer’s Market…
- After being overwhelmed by the Writer’s Market…
- After contemplating the Writer’s Market….
- After scanning the Writer’s Market…
- After waking from my nap and wiping drool off of the Writer’s Market…
- After scouring the Writer’s Market….
- After removing the breakfast dishes from the Writers Market…
Guess which one I went with?
After scouring through the Writer’s Market, I had a list of 23 contests I felt my were a fit for my story, but I decided on Glimmer Train. Why?
I’m waiting for a final review from my mom editor, and then I’ll submit.
Stop. EEEEK! I’m going to submit a story to a publication that receives 40,000 stories a year and publishes 40. (Worst case scenario.) That means I have a ONE IN TEN THOUSAND chance of getting published. If you like percentages, that is 0.1%. I didn’t pursue an acting career out of high school because there was only a 5% chance of making a career out of it. I do not do things that are this unlikely. What am I thinking? Deep breath. I really am quite glad that I’m not an actor. Deeper breath. I have a 0% chance of getting published if I don’t submit my story. Deepest breath. It’s okay. The worst thing that will happen is my story will not get published and that’s exactly where I am right now.
I also started doing some searches about finding an agent and found this gem from our own WordPress community. The Color the Books Blog has all kinds of great information. Want to know how to search Twitter for what topics agents and editors are looking for? Search #MSWL for Manuscript Wishlist of course. Or just check out http://manuscriptwishlist.com/, which I also learned about from this blog, and it will just aggregate all that information for you along with tidbits from agents about what they want. Oh yeah, that’s kind of handy. He’s also got stuff about how to keep track of your queries and what tropes are popular. (Prior to this blog I didn’t know what a trope was.)
I also spent some time building a list of books I love that were first books for the author and reading through the acknowledgements and about the author pages to see who their agent is and looking them up. Nothing concrete happening there yet, but it’s an interesting list.
Finally, I’ve almost finished reading the book that my friend’s ex-wife wrote. When I’ve read that I’ll ask for an introduction. I’m also going on a walk with another friend of a friend who published a memoir. I’m working the network, because four weeks from now I will have just finished reading Hallelujah for the first time and will need to figure out my next step: copies for all my friends from Kinko’s or moving toward publication.
I’ve owned four cats in my adult life, and have developed a reputation with my vet. I feel like my cat carrier should display a plaque with these words from The New Colossus,
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Our first cat, Neko, was two when we adopted her. She was a skinny wisp of a thing who loved to fetch.
When she was ten she was diagnosed with diabetes. She was wasting away to nothing and we took her to the vet. Only two shots of insulin a day would keep her fit and healthy the vet assured us, the parents of a newborn baby. Really, the one thing missing from our sleep deprived spit-up stained life was two insulin shots a day. She died of a stroke when she was thirteen after three years of twice daily shots.
We adopted Boo when he was somewhere between five and fifteen years old. He came into our life as a sweet stray who sneaked into my great-aunt’s house and took up dominion under her dining room table. I loved him from the moment we met. When my great-aunt died my mom asked if we would take him, and we brought him home. A few years later, he developed glaucoma. Two pet ophthalmologist and two different opinions later, we opted to not have his eyes surgically removed. He lived out his days blind with great big creepy eyes swelling out of his head. Kidney failure claimed him, somewhere between ten and twenty years old.
After Boo died, but before Neko died, we adopted Hazel. I’ve written about him before, and sadly he passed away this summer. When we adopted Hazel from the shelter he had a bald spot on the top of his head from having a benign growth removed. My husband accused me of taking him home just because of his head wound, and asked if we didn’t want to adopt the three legged cat instead. (To be fair, the three legged cat was in quarantine and I couldn’t adopt him.) Hazel was the sweetest cat I’ve ever owned, and the head wound healed over beautifully, but we only had three years with him before he wasted away from kidney failure, even with a round of dialysis.
After Neko we adopted sweet Katie. A teeny kitten who loved Hazel and who was loved by Hazel. The only creature she loved more was me. I remember, less then fondly, her early days where every night she curled on my chest, waking me numerous times with her tiny disgusting kitten sneezes from the respiratory virus she picked up in the shelter. She still falls asleep every night nestled in my hair bathing my neck and cheek.
Katie desperately misses her best friend Hazel. She was a fostered cat before we adopted her, and I’ve decided that I need to pay it forward and try to foster a few cats before we find a new “forever” cat. I figure I have experience. I can give shots; I can hand feed; I can deal with knowledge that some of the sick kitties may not make it, and hard decisions might have to be made. Today I took Katie to the vet to get her immunizations up to date and make sure she’s healthy before we foster. Turns out she has this cat syndrome which causes her gums to reject her teeth. She’s already lost four adult teeth, at the age of two, and the rest of her teeth are filled with holes. Her gums are red and bleeding, and she is in pain. I have an appointment for next week to have all her teeth removed, the only way to solve this problem.
I love my vet. She and I talked through Katie’s options and agreed that this was the only choice we had. We laughed about my horrible cat health luck, and we bored the vet tech to tears with all the medical woes we’ve been through together. She assured me that I am not her only client that attracts a mix of sweet cats with horrible health. She predicts I’ll make it one round of fostering before I fail and adopt one of the cats. She tried to shorten that cycle by offering me a stray cat that was left outside her clinic last week. I think I’ll hold out for a three-legged cat, or a deaf cat, or whatever foster kitty is the next best friend to Katie, the toothless wonder.
This week was not productive in the “getting my book published” journey. This week my other life took over with a vengeance (you know the work, mom, wife, child, pet owner, friend life). That’s okay though. I’m halfway through the six week moratorium on my book and it’s becoming fainter and fainter to me, which is what I want to happen. I’m also looking toward the timing of week six, and realizing that weekend I’m volunteering at a cross country meet, coaching two soccer games, attending a birthday party, and throwing a movie watching party. Not the ideal weekend to cram in a marathon read-my-manuscript-in-one-sitting session as recommended by my mentor, Mr. King. However, there is a weekend just past that, one where Mr. Afthead will be out of town. If I can get my parents to watch the little Afthead for a night I’d have the perfect quiet time to read my book. So that’s the plan. (Mom, if you are reading this, I’ll call you about babysitting. No pressure. Just my hopes and dreams on the line here. Thanks!)
I did get some things accomplished this week. I filled out my approval paperwork for my director to sign. (I don’t have it back yet, so no big identity reveal yet.) I shared my book and blogging efforts with some friends. I finished listening to Stephen King’s On Writing again and started reading my friend’s ex-wife’s book. (It’s good, but not intimidating good, so it is giving me hope.) That’s about it. I didn’t fish out my short story to clean up for submission, I didn’t do anything with all those publishing books and magazines except move them off the table so we could eat dinner. I haven’t reached out to my friends with publishing connections. I did learn how to be a foster cat parent, have dinner with a friend, get back-to-school clothes shopping done, attend the mandatory soccer coach meeting, take the summer homework “place I like to read” picture for my daughter, finalize a work proposal, throw a work celebratory picnic, and go to the back-to-school watermelon social. All priority items for this week, thank you very much.
One funny thing I’ve started noticing is the press, the announcements, the joy around “first time novelists” all around: in book reviews, on jacket covers, on the back of a book. I have realized that this is my one chance to be a first time novelist, and I want to enjoy the journey. After this one, I’ll have expectations for myself and baggage about how it went last time: why it worked and why it didn’t. Right now though, it’s all new. I get to make mistakes, I get to learn, and I get to chalk all that up to, “Well, it’s my first time writing a novel.” I haven’t been able to be a newbie at anything since my daughter was born, and for that one there was little joy in the “I don’t know what the heck I’m doing” because there was this tiny life on the line. This one is fun. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I am excited for the ride.
Thanks to everyone for coming along on my journey with me. If in case you are like my friend over at Kwoted by K E Garland and are wondering if you can learn from my process, I give you a resounding, “Please, please do!” I hope that by sharing this I can make things easy for the next person behind me. In case you are like my friend over at Around ZuZu’s Barn and are wondering if I have a working title for my manuscript I keep awkwardly referring to I can say, “Yes, yes I do. The working title is Hallelujah.” This is a great title, except, like bureaucracy, it’s a word I can never spell correctly. Maybe I’ll title it Hallejulah and know that I’ll never have to worry about copyright issues.
Have a great weekend and enjoy whatever adventures come your way.
Today I logged into my writing Surface and was shocked by the date that appeared in the corner of my screen. Apparently, while walking downstairs to my study, I miraculously transported almost 64 years into the future! I’m feeling pretty spry for 103 years old, and look darn good if I do say so myself. My 66 year old cat jumped onto my desk: for sure a record for world’s oldest cat.
The future was not without disappointment. I was horrified to find that my Surface was still running Internet Explorer 11 and Windows 8.1. Still no invitation to upgrade to Windows 10 either. A quick glance out the window verfied that there are no flying cars, at least, not that I could see from the basement. I’m off to see if Google still exists, and if it does, try to find where my ancient husband and 71 year old daughter are. I bet they’ve been worried sick.
It’s time for my first Weekend Writing update, where I let all you excited blog readers learn what steps I’ve been taking to inch my way toward blog publication. Last week I came up with a list of nine items to get me started. Shall we see how things are going?
I start all new projects at the bookstore. I know I should start at the library, but I love owning books, especially when they are books I am going to need for some time. Also, just the mere permanent presence of books in my home makes me better at things. The whole shelf of parenting books with uncracked spines lead me to be a caring, disciplinarian, listening, happiness inducing ninja of a mom. It’s a form of osmosis I think. But, I digress. These writing periodicals and books have already been opened and perused. (Okay, the top three in the pile have been opened and perused. The others are feeling jealous.) Here is what I have learned from my study this week.
Things are moving along on this adventure. My book is still hiding in my desk, calling out to me when I’m in my study. I am ignoring her though. I reread On Writing again, and am convinced this is a good path forward for me. I’ve still got some work to do on my pitch and CV, but that will wait for a couple more weeks. For now I’m enjoying my little dips into this new world of publishing. Hopefully by next week I’ll have identified a contest or two to submit to, have my paperwork done and my new domains set up.
Have a great weekend and enjoy whatever adventures come your way.
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