My daughter is in elementary school, but in less then ten years I can expect to wake up some morning and see my two gorgeous trees in front of my house decorated with toilet paper. Some boy, or friend, or frenemy will have expressed their love, anger, or both by littering our trees. I was reminded about this eventuality by a friend who lives in a neighborhood with older kids and was greeted by this site on Friday morning. (She gave me permission to use her picture.)
Her image reminded me of my TPing days, which then reminded me of colored toilet paper. When we really wanted to grab the attention of our target we’d splurge and get pink, blue, coral or green toilet paper. Not tan or white. They were so boring. Wait a second….
WHAT HAPPENED TO COLORED TOILET PAPER???
I think this is a generational thing. It’s been decades since I’ve seen colored toilet paper. 20 somethings have no idea what I’m talking about. 30 somethings don’t either. 40 somethings and older, you with me? Did you have a great aunt who had powder blue toilet paper that matched her bathroom, or a grandma who liked mint green to go with her olive green decor? Oh yes, it existed. It was a thing, and it was so fun to TP some jock’s tree with pink toilet paper.
Google to the rescue!
I had to visit Toilet Paper World’s blog, because there is a place called Toilet Paper World and they have a blog. (The internet is an amazing place.) They claim that non-white toilet paper disappeared in 2004. This means my daughter has lived her whole life in a world without colored toilet paper. The site says that the cost of manufacturing different colors combined with fears that the dyed paper could cause irritation in unsavory places was enough to end the reign of colored toilet paper.
History’s Dumpster has a post that has some amazing images of colored toilet paper, including the Charmin versions I remember with their sweet pictures of girls on the bags. He claims that the environment also contributed to the end of colored toilet paper, but as of 2012 demand was starting back up again. Time to turn to Amazon to solve the question. Can we buy colored toilet paper or not?
Okay, a six pack of black toilet paper is available from Amazon for $25.99 with prime shipping, but that’s novelty toilet paper prices. It doesn’t count. I’m not spending over $50 to do a mediocre job of TPing a tree. However, there appears to be a European brand, Tento, that has a variety of toilet paper options including floral, sea breeze and fresh morning scents. Keep scrolling past the butt-scenting options, which is also patterned with sunshine, flower and shell motifs, and you will find peach and green which they market as a “pastel revitalization!” Tento is available on Amazon, but you’ve got to buy 32 rolls and wait 3 weeks for shipment. Maybe in a few years when my kid is the TPer we’ll make the investment. For $55 you could really surprise a teenager in 2025 with a peach colored tree, although it’s tempting to greet them with a scented seashell patterned tree. Thankfully I have a few years to ponder my choices.