Last night, I was lucky enough to sit directly behind the bench at a collegiate hockey game. There I witnessed a job that I do not want: a hockey skate maintainer. Hockey equipment manager? Whatever this guy is doing, I don’t want to do it. One of my phobias is slicing. I hate movies that feature knives or swords. Every hockey game I anticipate the moment when a player’s Achilles, leg, or face will be sliced open by an errant skate. This guy has to pry blades out with a wimpy plastic tool, sharpen them, and then use his bare hand to press them back in wall while pucks and sticks and players fly about. I couldn’t stop watching him, anticipating his hand being cut in two. Gak.
My list of jobs I don’t want now includes:
- Hockey skate maintainer
- Glass sharpener
- Spider wrangler
Please don’t recommend me for any of the above opportunities. Thank you.