Knit-auguration 

At last the big day is here, the dawning of a new administration for the toys.  Crowds of historic proportions were expected and arrived this morning: extra Lego sheets had to be added to accommodate everyone.  Tiny Knit Zombie Trump and Tiny Knit Hillary are sitting together and enjoying the pre-inauguration entertainment.  The gathering has a festive celebratory air.  Every toy feels like they have representation in this new government.  Every toy feels like their voices were heard.  Every toy is excited about the changes that are coming, and has confidence in their new leaders.  Let’s go to our on the ground reporter, George Snuffleupagus,  for an up close perspective.

Thanks!  Well before we go to the ground, let’s check out the birds-eye-view.  Crowds stretch from the stage all the way back to the Lego Washington Monument.  The future president and vice president took a risk – there is no security – but so far even the toys that showed up with weapons are peacefully gathering.  It’s as if they just want to express their right to bear arms, but not hurt anyone.  Wow!  Look at the size of that sword down there!

The media is here and busy interviewing toys.  Several polite discussions have broken out when toys nearby had a perspective different from the toy being interviewed.  There’s just so much respect and tolerance, even here in the far back where you can barely make out the swooping hair of Tiny Knit Zombie Trump and sunglasses of Tiny Knit Hillary.   Everyone seems so happy to just be part of this day.

Thankfully with the money this team saved on security they were able to install large video screens so the crowd can see from anywhere on the Lego sheets.  This incoming administration really understands how to make investments where they are needed the most.

Sorry George!  Gotta interrupt you.  It looks like the entertainment part of the festivities is over and Tiny Knit Zombie Trump is going to take his oath of office.  Let’s listen in.  Oh, wait.  He doesn’t have a mouth.  Well, he’s looking very vice-presidential as he moans and nods… and there, he’s done.  The crowd’s reaction is deafening.  There is a palpable excitement from the trolls, vikings, mad scientists, and conservatives.  Oh, now it’s Tiny Knit Hillary’s turn.  The crowd has quieted.  Let’s hear what she has to say.  Ah, again no mouth.  Well she holds herself with a very presidential posture as she puts her hand on the toy plastic book she chose for today.  George, do you think the color of the book has any significance?  George… are you there?

Sorry, I can’t seem to get my emotions under control… *sniff*  This is just such a momentous day.  Two parties putting aside their differences for the good of all toys.  I just….I can’t….

Ah, and we’ve lost George due to the roar of the crowd.  Well, let’s leave him with his emotions, and watch as President Tiny Knit Hillary and Vice President Tiny Knit Zombie Trump hug each other, and then address the crowd with inclusive gesticulations.  I can’t imagine what they must be feeling looking over all their constituents. Oh, look, spontaneous hugs are breaking out all over.  Knits are hugging Legos.  Evil doers are hugging kids, but in a good way, not a creepy way.  Such solidarity.

Well there is nothing more to add.  Today is a day of peace, cooperation, and tranquility and our toy nation is a model that other nations can only hope to emulate.  Let’s pan out to enjoy one last look at the crowd on this momentous day.


 

An unexpected, and tinge late, additional post in a series of tiny knit presidential dilemmas.  See the sixth post here, fifth post here, fourth post here, third post here, second post here, and the first post here.

Thank you to Anna Hrachovec for the amazing tiny knit patterns!  Please visit her site at http://mochimochiland.com/.

‘Twas the week before Inauguration 

‘Twas the week before inauguration and all through the city 

Porta potties were in place, in case things got shitty.


The streets were all lined with barricades and bleachers

In anticipation of crowds and sign carrying preachers. 


Inaugural gowns filled the ritziest store,

Bright red is the color attendees adore.


When in front of Old Abe there arose such a clatter

I quickened my pace to see what was the matter.

The memorial front was flooded with workers 

And the sounds that they made was like hordes of berserkers.  


The seating appeared to be quietly weeping 

As worries and fear inside me were creeping. 


Wiping my eyes and turning around 

I glimpsed the Trump Tower and started to frown.


When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a small group of children so tiny and dear.


Their eyes, how they twinkled!  Their footsteps were merry.

(One had the diminutive air of a fairy.)

Small tiny steps and one happy turn of a head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. 

I spoke not word, but resolved to do right.  

As for you, D.C.  Please fight the good fight.

Acknowledgement to Clement Clarke Moore and his poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, otherwise known as the beloved The Night Before Christmas.  I hope my version proves entertaining to you readers. 

A Knit Dilemma of Presidential Proportions – Epilogue

It’s over.  Rather, they are both over.  The human election and the toy election are done and that makes me sad.  I’m still processing the results of the human election, but that is a different post.  Today I had to clean off my desk to start working on non-Tiny-Knit writing projects again.  Many toys have already gone back into circulation, and the knit creatures have been discovered by the cats.  I found Tiny Knit Zombie Trump in the corner with his hair ripped off – some feline was pissed and wasn’t afraid to take it out on the little green guy.  Before the favorite characters were put away my daughter and I made a final scene to let you know what to expect from the toys throughout Tiny Knit Hillary’s term in office.

Epilogue

Barbie, Knit Snowman, and Knit Owl are very concerned about the number of toys that didn’t vote, and the quality of the voting that did occur.  They are going to use the R2D2 supercomputer to help them model how to build a more informed electorate for the next election.

The Santas have loaded up their car with tiny knit Trump hair, ballots, and Santa’s very heavy sack.  The hair is going to the toy Smithsonian museum and the ballots to the toy National Archives so that the importance of this election can be remembered.  The North Pole is on alert that the naughty and nice list is coming in Santa’s sack and it’s gigantic.  Never has Santa seen so much naughtiness and niceness.  It’s going to be a tough job to get everything processed before Christmas, but the elves are prepped and ready.  Mrs. Claus has even stepped up her baking early to ensure that everyone will be will properly sugared up for the analysis.  The next big season is all on the Santas, and they are not going to let the toys down.

Tiny knit Vice President Zombie has put his acorn cap back on and is going to focus on the environment and climate.  He’s built a team of creatures impacted by environmental change plus Lego Green Troll to help him determine what policies need to be considered.  (Lego Green Troll is still not sure what the black and white creatures are doing on this green team is and getting ready to ask if he can paint them.)

The bad guys are planning to steal President Tiny Knit Hillary’s invisible supersonic jet and take it for a joy ride.  Tiny Knit Chicken is going with them because she has always wanted to fly.  She is hoping that Santa won’t find out about this last “naughty” act, because she asked for meal-worms for Christmas, and Tiny Knit Zombie told her that he could make that happen if she gave him her “I voted” sticker.

And the new President?  What is SHE up to?  Well, she’s appointed her chief of staff: Lego Hipster with Crazy Cloak.  She calls him Jonas.  (You know he’s a hipster because of the beard.)  Jonas was a strong supporter during the election, and he can also serve as her Secret Service and head of Department of Defense because of the laser beams that shoot out of his scary red eyes.  Having him serve multiple positions is a good way to keep her cabinet small and save the toy tax payers some money.  Their first job is to talk to the old polling place lady and see how to streamline the ballot and sticker efforts for the next election cycle.

Everything seems okay, except…  wait…  What is Lego Mad Scientist up to now?  It appears that one of the bad guys has another evil plan, and you know that Lego Mad Scientist still smarts from having his last evil plan thwarted.  If his expertly knit candidate were president Lego Mad Scientist would have had an important role in the cabinet.  But President Tiny Knit Hillary won’t even talk to him, and that Jonas guy keeps glaring at him with smoking eyes.  Undoubtedly Lego Mad Scientist is going to continue to cause problems for this administration.

So there you have it.  There are some good things going on and some bad things.  The new government is focusing on some issues, but with limited resources they can’t solve all the problems.  Hopefully they will move the toys forward more than they move them back, and the next election cycle maybe someone else will come along and focus on the things they let slide.  Then those toy elected officials will move the country forward in a different direction so that in the end all the toys feel that their critical needs are being met.  That’s the way it is supposed to work.

The End

Acknowledgements

This was about me having fun teaching Afthead Junior about the election process in my own quirky way.  I loved making up this story for her, and while I’m sad that we didn’t get to celebrate the first human female president together, I am tickled by how much she enjoyed the story building.  She told her class about our toy election and still giggles about the line “…the early bird gets the worm, and the ‘I voted’ sticker“.  In four years she might be too cool and I might be to lame for us to do this together, so I’m so grateful that we had this election together.  I’m also grateful for her help and ideas during our photo shoots. She’s also a great cat herder.  Man, nothing destroys a toy election faster than a one year old cat!

A huge thanks to you readers who went on this journey with me.  What a hoot.  I loved your comments and your likes.  I hope you enjoyed this half as much as I did.  Now, back to that novel that needs editing, that short story that needs submitting, and that other short story, and that really hard post about the human election.


 

Final post in a series of tiny knit presidential dilemmas.  See the fifth post here, fourth post here, third post here, second post here, and the first post here.

Thank you to Anna Hrachovec for the amazing patterns!  Please visit her site at http://mochimochiland.com/.

The Final Knit Dilemma of Presidential Proportions – Election Day

At last the toys get to elect their leader.  Weeks have passed and everyone is tired of arguing with their relatives and watching political ads during live baseball games. At dawn election morning the extremely old ladies who run the balloting office open the door and find a line of voters stretching farther than they can see, even with their glasses on.

img_5953

The ladies quickly turn to their desk and start worrying:

“We don’t have enough ballots.  There are so many people.”

“We can make more.”

“We also don’t have nearly enough stickers, and I promised my granddaughter one.”

“Here, take one before they come in.”

After hiding a sticker under their desk, the two elderly ladies greet the first voter, Tiny Knit Chicken, who knows that the early bird gets the worm, and the “I Voted” sticker.

img_5972

Each toy steps into the voting booth to pick their leader.  With large amounts of disgruntlement and small amounts of election knowledge many toys pick the “Write in” option and enter invalid choices, misspell names, or forget to check the box.  The election commissioner will throw out all mistakes without a care.  It does not matter to her that it is really difficult to write without opposable thumbs and at most two fingers.

At last every ballot has been cast and the election commissioner arrives to tally. She is horrified by the state of the ballots, but in the end the results are clear.  There is just one last regulation to check.

Tiny Knit Zombie Trump admires the sticker Tiny Knit Chicken gave him while Tiny Knit Clinton chats with her friends the Old Lego Ladies.  Toys mill about waiting to hear the results.  As the commissioner approaches Lego Mad Scientist senses that something might be going awry with his master plan, so he moves closer to eavesdrop.

“I have some good news and some bad news for you Mr. Tiny Knit Zombie Trump.”

Tiny Knit Zombie Trump moans and strokes his sticker.

“Due to invalid voting processes 247 ballots were disallowed.  When the remaining nine ballots were counted you won our toy election by a margin of 5 – 4.”  Before Tiny Knit Zombie Trump can let out an excited groan she continues, “However, the regulations say you must have a registered birth certificate with the election commission and your records appear to be missing.  Unless you can produce valid certification I’m afraid you must concede.”  She adjusts her pantsuit and the watching electorate wonders if this might be a conspiracy created by a biased commissioner.

Tiny Knit Zombie Trump shakes his head and moans, and Tiny Knit Hillary, who does not wants to win on a technicality, springs into action.  She was a former Secretary of State.  She has friends all over the world who can help.  Boarding her invisible supersonic jet she begins scouring records departments all over the planet looking for Tiny Knit Zombie’s birth certificate.

While flying over the diminished Arctic, her phone rings.  It is the commissioner.  Lego Mad Scientist has admitted he created Tiny Knit Zombie Trump and, in his excitement, neglected to file the correct paperwork.  Tiny Knit Zombie Trump is prepared to forfeit his win to Tiny Knit Clinton.

Tiny Knit Hillary lands her jet and approaches her opponent.  In flight she has made a decision.  The toys deserve better than to be governed by someone who won only 4/256ths of the vote.  She can do marginally better.  Wrapping her arm around Tiny Knit Zombie Trump her first act as President is to allow for non-citizens to be Vice Presidents.  Together their 9/256ths will govern the toys, and find ways to help the marginalized, the scientists, the evil doers, the green, the knitted, and the non-knitted alike.  As the confetti falls the toys celebrate the end of the election.  Tiny Knit Clinton wishes she had her binder containing her first 100 day plan so she could add “Change Vice President rule” to the top of the list while Tiny Knit Zombie Trump strokes his sticker and breathes in the delicious scent of Tiny Knit Clinton’s enormous brain.


 

Fifth and final post in a series of tiny knit presidential dilemmas.  See the fourth post here, third post here, second post here, and the first post here.

Thank you to Anna Hrachovec for the amazing pattern!  Please see http://mochimochiland.com/shop/tiny-zombie-kit/ for the zombie pattern and visit her site at http://mochimochiland.com/.

The Penultimate Knit Dilemma of Presidential Proportions

At last the tiny knit debate.  The two candidates, dressed in their parties’ traditional colors, approach their lecterns with neither a handshake or even an acknowledgement between them.  They are rivals.  Santa was chosen as the moderator and the candidates and members of the debate audience have been forewarned that he will use his “naughty or nice list” if things get out of hand.  The list is in his bag and he’s not afraid to use it.

The debate is similar to the human presidential debates, but there are some marked differences.  With no mouths to speak the candidates must express their opinions though wild gesticulation, sighs, head shakes, groans and moans. So, basically what you would have seen on television if you had the human debate on mute.

The toy debate turns to the topic of the environment and climate change.  The question is directed to tiny knit Secretary Clinton. She comes armed and displays her tomes of knowledge.  Passionately she points out picture after picture of ecosystems decimated by changes in the climate.

Tiny knit zombie stops his moaning and stomping when tiny knit Clinton mentions trees and listens intently.  Tiny knit zombie Trump loves trees and the more tiny knit Clinton talks the more he fears for his friends the trees.  When Santa asks if zombie Trump has anything to add he reaches beneath his lectern and pulls out his favorite hat: a double acorn cap he found in the forest.

A melee ensues.  The evil toys cannot believe that their hand knit candidate is willing to side with his opponent.  Fights break out in the audience and even Santa’s shouts of “naughty, naughty, naughty” don’t stop the combatants.  Tiny knit chicken tries to hatch Viking’s head.  Witch knocks Snowman over and threatens her with a melting potion.  In short, it gets ugly.

While Santa tries to regain control over the audience, something amazing happens on stage initially unnoticed by the crowd.  Tiny knit zombie Trump and tiny knit Clinton turn and actually look at each other.  She admires his hat.  He admires her pile of books.  They each wonder if the difference between them are really that great.  She’s always been an outsider because of her love of research and policy.  He’s always been an outsider because he has an unnatural palate, hair and skin tone.  Tiny knit Trump realizes he’s a infant in the political arena compared to her, while she considers that his fresh perspective might be good for the toy community.

Slowly he reaches out his hand.  She responds by reaching out her own.  Together they stand and one by one the toys stop their fighting and watch what their chosen potential leaders are doing on stage.  Some are horrified, but others are impressed by their candidate’s willingness to reach across the aisle and put aside differences to find commonality.  The election takes an unexpected turn days before the vote.


Forth post in a series of tiny knit presidential dilemmas.  See the third post here, second post here, and the first post here.

Thank you to Anna Hrachovec for the amazing pattern!  Please see http://mochimochiland.com/shop/tiny-zombie-kit/ for the zombie pattern and visit her site at http://mochimochiland.com/.

A Continuing Knit Dilemma of Presidential Proportions

Frustrated with their tiny knit presidential candidate situation the bad guys and evil Lego figures took matters into their own molded plastic hands, as evildoers so often do.  If no tiny knit Trump was going to be an option for them, they were going to create a leader they could follow.  As a surprise to everyone, mad scientist Lego has some pretty decent skills with the double pointed needles.

Voila!  Tiny knit zombie is complete and was presented to the leaderless toys, but something didn’t seem right.  While tiny knit zombie was evil and green he just didn’t seem presidential.  How would he attract undecided voters?  Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of a zombie – even a mouthless zombie who can’t eat brains – as president.  They needed to do something to improve his image.  

Mad Scientist turned to the real human election for inspiration, and with just a few stitches tiny knit zombie became a viable candidate.


Complete with red tie and a distinctive toupee, the toys present tiny knit Trump-like zombie candidate!  Now there is a brain enjoying leader any toy can support, or that’s what these guys hope.  Let’s see how he does against tiny knit Hillary in the debate.  In the meantime, we are going to keep him away from the baby toys, because the way he “kisses” their head makes the mommy toys a bit uncomfortable.  It’s like he’s smelling veal as he caresses their little heads.  Hopefully he can overcome that flaw.


Third post in a potential series of tiny knit presidential dilemmas.  See the second post here, and the first post here.

Thank you to Anna Hrachovec for the amazing pattern!  Please see http://mochimochiland.com/shop/tiny-zombie-kit/ for the zombie pattern and visit her site at http://mochimochiland.com/.

Another Knit Dilemma of Presidential Proportions

I just couldn’t make a tiny knit Trump last night.  I turned my back on my plans at the last minute.  The debate started and my double pointed needles refused to be sullied with Trump yarn.

Then, the unexpected happened when a certain subset of toys revolted.  It turns out some Lego figures – with ringleaders mad scientist, witch, and Viking – joined with The Joker, Little People The Joker, and Two Face to violently protest tiny knit Hillary being the only candidate in our household.

It’s chaos here.  Tiny knit Hillary is safe, and recovering, but we need a second tiny knit option for president.  Who could have anticipated this turn of events?


Second post in a potential series of tiny knit presidential dilemmas.  See the first post here.

Thank you to Anna Hrachovec for the amazing pattern!  Please see   http://mochimochiland.com/2016/09/free-pattern-tiny-trump-and-tiny-hillary/ for the pattern and visit her site at http://mochimochiland.com/.

A Knit Dilemma of Presidential Proportions

Have you seen the amazing Mochimochi Land knit presidential candidates?  The maker of my favorite tiny knits released this adorable free pattern the day of the first presidential debate.  I was smitten!  What a perfect project to distract me from the debacle our United States election has become.

tiny-candidates
Image from Mochimochi Land 

My plan was to knit one candidate during the first debate and the other during the second debate.  I didn’t feel like I had the right Trump skintone yarn, so I started with Hillary.

img_4981
Isn’t she adorable?  My daughter thinks she looks like a mermaid, because her legs are so short.  It took exactly one debate to go from yarn to tiny first-woman-supported-by-a-major-political-party-for-president.  I was a bit miffed when big unknit Hillary walked out to debate in a red pantsuit (Hello!  Did someone neglect to tell the candidates about their party color schemes?) but I stuck with Democrat blue for tiny knit Hillary.

Now here’s my problem.  I intended a balanced approach to this knitting project, but did you happen to see the news this weekend?  I’m not sure I want a tiny knit Trump in my female majority household.  Now, tiny knit Trump doesn’t have a mouth (neither does tiny Hillary) so I won’t need to worry about him saying distasteful things, but will I be able to leave him alone?  Will he make inappropriate moves on the Barbie Dolls?  What about the Lego Friends girls?  Will they be safe?  What if Ken and the Lego boys see tiny knit Trump act disrespectful and think his behavior is okay?  Do I want my toy room to become a hostile environment like that?  Or do I believe that was all part of tiny knit Trump’s past and now he’ll follow a script and be respectful.  Such a knitting dilemma.

Suggestions are welcome.  In the meantime the toys are conferring.


Thank you to Anna Hrachovec for the amazing pattern!  Please see   http://mochimochiland.com/2016/09/free-pattern-tiny-trump-and-tiny-hillary/ for the pattern and visit her site at http://mochimochiland.com/.

A Powerful Snow Day Meme

Yesterday my daughter came home with a plan.  “Mommy,” she said, “I learned at school today that to have a snow day we need to put a frozen spoon under our pillows, flush an ice cube and wear our pajamas upside down.”  With that pronouncement she went to the cutlery drawer to pick out which spoon she wanted to go into the freezer, and I followed after her to get clarification that “upside down” meant “inside out.”  I wasn’t sure how we were going to pull off upside down pajamas.

Not wanting to mess with a potential snow day, I had her freeze a spoon for me and my husband.   I dutifully flushed an ice cube and then let her flush one.  We both wore our pajamas inside out, but couldn’t convince Mr. Afthead to turn his boxers inside out.  A frozen spoon went under her pillow, under my pillow, and was snuck under Mr. Afthead’s pillow.  He didn’t really want a snow day, or at least that was his justification for not playing along.

I posted the recipe for snow day on Facebook, and was inundated by replies from my limited list of friends that their kids had also proclaimed the same, or similar snow day procedures.  One mom worried because her spoons weren’t frozen, but the power of the elementary school crowed could not be overwhelmed by a single family’s inability to freeze their spoons or a dad’s unwillingness to wear nontraditional oriented pajamas.

The 5:30 oh-my-God-someone-has-died automated phone call from the school district and the foot of snow told us that our careful plans had worked!  Do not question the power of the snow day meme when implemented en masse.

Travel Day Stories

Today was a travel day.  I love traveling.  I love watching people in airports.  I love the weird interpersonal situations that happen when way too many people are crammed in way too small seats way too close together.  For whatever reason, today was a day of really happy, positive, kinda weird stories.

The Girl Band

One TSA line over is a girl.  She’s wearing a top hat with a huge fake orange flower and a wide fabric band.  She has on shiny maroon Doc Martins, and I marvel at how small her ankles are in those boots.  No one has small ankles in Doc Martins, but she has tiny feet too, so maybe that’s the reason.  She’s a slender girl who looks like a teenager to my aging eyes, so she’s probably twenty-five.  She has close cropped hair, beautiful posture and everything about her is alive.  She has a guitar case slung over her shoulder and a banjo case at her feet.  I wonder how she’s going to get them both on a plane.  Once, I sat next to a man who bought a seat for his guitar, so maybe she’s doing that.

Then I notice her friends.  There are three girls, not just one, and they all have that same alive, short-hair, good posture look.  She isn’t a musician, they are a band, and just the three of them are traveling.  This means they probably are in their twenties, and not the teenagers I originally thought.  The tallest one in the blue coat is comparing her jacket to her friend’s jacket and asking the hatted one, “It’s blue, right?”

The friend says, “It’s not blue.” The hatted one agrees.

Suddenly, the not-blue jacketed one notices me watching their scene and she shouts across at me, “What color is this?”

I am delighted to be included in this group and I shout back, “Not blue.”

She tilts her head, “Not blue?  Then what color is it?”

“Charcoal.” I call back.

“Charcoal!” The hatted one says, and they are back in their own world.  I try to engage them with the start of a question about the color of my own orange-red jacket, but I am forgotten.  For a moment I wish I’d worn my own not-blue jacket.  Maybe we would have talked longer, and I could have asked my own questions.  Where are you going?  How will you get a banjo and a guitar on the plane?  Did you make that hat?  What’s the name of your band.

Alas, they are on to comparing the color of their pants.  Maroon?

Cash on the Plane

“Only credit cards.  Credit cards only.” The flight attendant repeats row after row.  Obediently the passengers put away their bills and hand over plastic.  The routine is interrupted by the man in the middle seat in front of me.  I can see him through the break between the seats, and his long hair and music mixing app on his computer make it obvious he is no traditional airline commuter.  He challenges the flight attendant.

“What if I pay you double the price, can I pay cash?”

The exhausted, overworked, low-budget airline attendant says, “No.  Credit only.”

The music mixer decides to perform.  He raises his voice, “Will anyone, anyone in this airplane pay for my snack, and I will pay you in cash.”

I roll my eyes at his bravado, and am shocked to hear a female voice say, “I will.”

Some lady two rows in front of me offers to pay.  There is a complicated back and forth with her snack mix, her gin and tonic, his craft beer – his word – and then his gin and tonic, in addition to the craft beer.  Snacks are passed out.  Drinks are handed out, handed back, and then handed out again in different formation.  The guy next to the music mixer asks several times, “I’d like a water when you get a chance.”  The music mixer hands his cash to the woman, and it’s too much money.

He insists, “As a thank you for your purchase.”

The attendant moves on, after giving the guy his water, and the water man starts quizzing the music mixer about his work: “Have you ever heard of Glenn Frey?”  The music mixer starts starts his beer – he doesn’t like it, must not be crafty enough – and says that he has never heard of Glenn Frey.  So, the water guy starts talking the lyrics of Hotel California and I wonder if the cash the music mixer gave the lady is real, or if somehow the music mixer is also a counterfeiter.  I also wonder if the music mixer really doesn’t know Glenn Frey or is just too cool to admit that he loves Hotel California.

Airplane Dad

I’m sitting in the terminal waiting to start a conference call.  Nestled back in molded airport chairs under the escalator I hear it before I see it.  The sound of a plane taking off. No, the sound a person makes when sounding like a plane taking off.  Into my vision bursts a paunchy dad with a child bigger than an infant but smaller than a toddler in his arms.  He’s running down the terminal holding his child in the air making airplane noises and they are both laughing and totally unaware that it is inappropriate for grown men to run in an airplane terminal making airplane noises.  Unbeknownst to them, they also make a third person happy, me, who loves inappropriate parental/child joy.

Safety Conscious Beggar

The homeless man mutters at every person who passes in front of him.  It’s snowing and he’s standing underneath the overhang of the building where the pavement is just wet.  He shakes his cup at everyone, and no one give him attention or money.  I hear him when I’ve already passed.

“Be careful.  It’s slick.”

I wish it wasn’t snowing.  I would have given him a dollar, but he’s right, it’s slick, so I don’t stop.